A setback

Up until 5 days postpartum, I was actually surprised at how easy this recovery has been compared to last time, even though it was a c-section. I had a very hard, long recovery with Will, and have felt SO much better this time around. However, Tuesday morning when I went to my doctor's office to get my staples out I got a bit of bad news. My incision had opened in one part and was leaking fluid. It is apparently a complication of a c-section (or any surgery) and is called a wound seroma. The doctor had to make the opening wider, drain it, clean it, and pack it with several feet of gauze. It was excruciating. She then told me I'd have to have a home nurse come and do this twice a day until it was healed. I know I'm hormonal right now, so that may have added to it, but I spent the rest of the day in tears. I don't do well with pain, and the thought of having to go through with this twice a day was more than I could take.

I've now gone a few days with this new routine. It hasn't gotten any easier. Thankfully, I have the most wonderful husband ever, who lets me squeeze his arm as hard as I can, and coaches me through it by telling me to breathe. I don't know how I'd handle it without him.

I'm just telling this story because I know so many of you who read this are believers, and I would desperately covet your prayers right now. I've thought a lot this week about how going through hard things draws us closer to God and makes us realize our need of God. When things are easy we tend to go through life feeling like we can handle things without Him.

It can take anywhere from 2 weeks to several months to heal. I go back to the doctor Monday afternoon. If there is enough improvement, I can possibly go to having the nurse come to do the dressing change once a day. This is a big prayer request of mine right now. I'm basically praying that God would heal me as fast as possible. Also please pray for my anxiety. I feel like I spend every second of every day and night anxious about the "next time." I feel like I can't relax and enjoy life at all right now. The nurse comes each day around 9 in the morning and 5 in the afternoon. We try to keep Will entertained with a movie and snack downstairs (I usually end up yelling during the procedure and don't want to scare him) and we try to have Liza asleep so Matt can help me, but this can be kind of stressful. Also please pray for Matt. He is basically serving as a single parent of 2 while I recover, along with handling all the household duties. And he is being a tremendous support for me right now, which I'm sure isn't easy.

Thankfully I have a precious baby girl to hold and that keeps me going!

Thank you SO much for your prayers!!